The act of ‘Building’ is not just some random process. It is a carefully thought-through plan with a very specific outcome to achieve.
The planning process involves taking into consideration all possible factors (big or small), that can add value and strength to the form that is getting built.
Let’s take a simple example of a parent-child team, playing together to build a House of Cards. If you (the parent), are just looking at this time as merely a ‘Play Time’ that you must dedicate or block for your child, then what you build will be nothing more than a house of cards.
Your objective is achieved, time is well spent and both you and your child are happy and satisfied.
Now, let’s look at the same scenario where you are now sitting with your child to ‘Purposefully Build’ a house of cards. Your agenda includes spending time with your child, but it also includes building an awareness of external and internal factors that will lead to a strong form / structure.
External Factors:
- The quality of cards – Are they soft and glossy or are they a bit grainy? Are they crisp or are they bent at several places?
- How is the surface on which you are building your house of cards? Is it sturdy or shaky? Is it slippery or textured?
- Is it too windy? Do you need to switch of the fan or step away from open windows and doors? A small aspect overlooked will make you lose all your hard work, and you wouldn’t want that.
Internal Factors:
- Your own breath – You need to be conscious of your and your child’s breathing and the distance from the cards as you both cannot be exhaling too strongly such that the cards keep falling.
- You both need to stay calm and focussed on the task at hand.
- As a team, you must come up with a strategy together and brainstorm on creative ideas to build the best possible form / structure.
- You both need to have patience and keep learning from your mistakes along the way.
- You need to keep giving instructions to you child as well as ensure that he/she has understood what you have explained.
There is a very clear and evident difference between ‘Just Building’ and ‘Purposeful Building’. Let’s also compile the differences for a broader understanding as follows:
| JUST BUILDING | PURPOSEFUL BUILDING |
| Short-term goal | Long-term vision |
| Parent plans and decides | Both the parent and child brainstorm and decide |
| Quick process | Time-consuming process |
| Focus is on the goal | Focus is on the process |
| Opportunity to reward only the result | Opportunity to acknowledge and reward every milestone achieved during the process |
| Individual involvement | Team involvement |
| Learning is specific to the task | Learning is conducive for several other tasks |
| No learning for the parent | Learning for both the parent and the child |
| Outside approach | Inside-out approach |
Every parent wishes to build a strong foundation for their child. The trouble starts when the focus shifts to build a strong financial foundation which can give access to worldly material luxuries and facilities. This is building using the outside approach. Here, the parent takes on 100% accountability to provide for and protect the child for life.
However, this does not mean that building a financial foundation and providing all materialistic luxuries and facilities is bad. But this foundation will be all shaky and may someday collapse, if it is not complimented by the emotional, social, spiritual and cognitive foundations. They all go together. If either one of the foundations is weak, then the entire form / structure is likely to crumble, irrespective of how beautiful and glamorous the structure looks from the outside.
KEY TAKEAWAY:
Parents must be involved in building the foundation for their child.
Which approach they choose will decide the utility and fate of the foundation.
What is your choice?
JUST BUILD?
OR
PURPOSEFULLY BUILD?
